Polk Street Blues Festival..petting zoos, magic, and yuppies.

I was excited for the Polk Street Blues Festival, not only because it was the FIRST Polk St Blues Festival…and not only because I love blues music and overpriced food served by people sweating in 113 degree tents, but because the festivities took place a few blocks from my house, and if its not close to my house, I aint goin…a bitch is lazy. Plus it had to be, what, 80 degrees outside? Jesusfuck.

This was the first thing I saw after hitting Polk. Classy, Polk street, real classy. Im glad they went as far as to spring for the “fake-cheap-astro turf-colored-tape”. It seriously fooled me. ”Oh man, it must have cost a fortune to have REAL GRASS put here just for the weekend..oh…wait..”

And then onto the overpriced food!

mmm…smoked turkey legs.

And funnel cake.

After having some delicious sweat-soaked food, Carolyn and I went to see which EXTREMELY SAFE AND WELL SUPERVISED ride we wanted to try out.

Definitely this one, where homeboy is sleeping.

No exciting rides here, so lets just go to a garage sale!

And no blues festival is complete without a petting zoo! I seriously could not believe there was a fucking petting zoo. Really…Polk St?

And because a petting zoo wasn’t enough, right in front of starbucks, so you could easily get a frappuccino after, there were fucking pony rides. PONY RIDES?!

Sadly, there was a 70 pound limit. fuck my life.

Oh! Mini cupcakes!

The magician was my favorite part. Nothing says “i molest children” like a man, with a case of toys, wearing a top hat, beckoning at children to leave their parents and come see his “magic tricks”. Sadly, he was actually really nice, and probably very dehydrated. If you watched one of his magic acts, and didn’t tip him, you sir, are a douche.

Instead of enjoying the sunshine, rich white folks, and petting zoo, some people decided just to..ya know..sit at home and dry some chicken on their balcony.